Once you reach a certain age, there are questions you simply shouldn’t ask someone you’re dating. Questions like “How many people have you slept with?” or “When was the last time you had sex?” are traps. Even if the person answers honestly, you likely won’t believe them. Asking these sets you up for disappointment and insecurity. Instead of focusing on irrelevant numbers, it’s better to observe character, compatibility, and mutual respect early in the dating process.

People often ask these questions to figure out where they stand in the relationship, not because the numbers truly matter. It’s less about body counts and more about personal insecurities. You’re not curious about the other person’s past sex life—you’re comparing yourself to those they’ve been with. Will you be “the best”? Are they involved with anyone you know? Recognizing this can save you from unnecessary anxiety and help you focus on genuine connection.

The “last time you had sex” question is even less relevant. Who cares if it was yesterday or months ago? What matters is their interest and behavior in the present. Women often overvalue past sexual encounters, thinking it undermines their own relationship potential. Men, on the other hand, are usually just assessing how soon they might get involved. Either way, dwelling on someone’s sexual past distracts from the real purpose of dating: finding compatibility and building trust.

Would you truly stop seeing someone because they’ve slept with dozens of people or had sex recently? Probably not. So why ask these questions? Mostly, it’s to make ourselves feel better. If someone asks me these questions, my honest answer is simple: “That’s none of your business.” Focus on the present, your connection, and how you treat each other—those are the things that actually matter in dating.